Favorite Stand-Up Comedy Lines

Jim Gaffigan, Ketchup - "Salsa is like the Mexican ketchup, marinara is the Italian ketchup, and British food is terrible"

Brian Regan: every line in the 1 hour show "I Walked On The Moon"

Jerry Seinfeld’s line about cannibal dinner conversations:

“This is great; who is this?”

Pethead wrote:Jerry Seinfeld’s line about cannibal dinner conversations:

“This is great; who is this?”

"What's for dinner tonight?"
"Jack"

StevenCressler wrote:

Pethead wrote:Jerry Seinfeld’s line about cannibal dinner conversations:

“This is great; who is this?”

"What's for dinner tonight?"
"Jack"

For a second a thought you were referring to me but then I remembered I never told y'all my name. Till now I guess.

Christian Thrash Rules wrote:

StevenCressler wrote:

Pethead wrote:Jerry Seinfeld’s line about cannibal dinner conversations:

“This is great; who is this?”

"What's for dinner tonight?"
"Jack"

For a second a thought you were referring to me but then I remembered I never told y'all my name. Till now I guess.

Funny I chose that... I almost sais Joe but I changed it because that just sounds like I'm setting up a Joe Mama joke.

"A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef"-Mitch Hedberg

“Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner.” – Milton Jones